Thursday, March 1, 2012

Chapter 8: Interpersonal Relationship Stages & Theories

The Six Stages of a Relationship

Contact
  • first perceptual contact
  • gain a physical picture of individual (sound, smell, gender, age, race, height, etc.)
  • interaction is superficial and impersonal (small talk/nonverbal behavior)
  • within first FOUR minutes it is decided if you want to pursue a relationship or not
  • physical appearance is important in initial development of attraction
  • individual qualities are revealed (friendliness, warmth, openness, and dynamism)
Involvement
  • a sense of mutuality, of being connected, develops
  • experiment and try to learn more about other person
  • preliminary testing goes on, want to see if initial judgment proves reasonable
  • continue involvement by intensifying interaction
  • share feelings and emotions (self-disclosure)
  • each person tries to find out how the other feels about the relationship
Intimacy
  • feeling that you can be honest and open when talking about yourself,
  • ability to express thoughts and feelings not revealed in other relationships
  • commit further and establish a kind of relationship (title: best friend, lover, companion)
  • communication becomes more personalized, synchronized, and easier
  • TWO phases: interpersonal commitment- commit to each other in a private way vs. social bonding- commitment is made public (example: engagement, wedding)
  • increase display of affiliative cues (Duchenne smiles)
  • talk more affectionately, more lovingly, and more deeply
Deterioration
  • see the weakening of bonds between parties and represents the downside of relationship progression
  • many reasons for its occurrence
  • reasons for coming together are no longer present or change drastically
  • relationship no longer lessens loneliness or provides stimulation or self-knowledge
Repair
  • intrapersonal repair- analyze what went wrong and consider ways of solving relational difficulties
  • consider changing behavior or expectations of partner
  • weighing of pros and cons
  • interpersonal repair- talk about problems, corrections, what you're willing to do, and what you want the other person to do
  • stage of negotiating new agreements and behaviors
  • REPAIR strategy (recognize the problem, engage in productive conflict resolution, pose possible solutions, affirm each other, integrate solutions, and risk giving)
Dissolution
  • cutting of the bonds tying you together
  • interpersonal separation- no physical contact or communication (example: moving out, legal separation)
  • social/public separation- changing definition of relationship (example: divorce, title to single status)
  • final goodbye can be a stage of relief and relaxation or anxiety, frustration, guilt, & grief
  • how to deal with dissolution (break the loneliness-depression cycle, take time out, bolster self-esteem, seek the support of others, and avoid repeating negative patterns)
Here is a video that demonstrates the stages of a relationship:


2 comments: